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The child will become stupid because the parents made three mistakes.
First, the child has become stupid three reasons
1. Games that can never win
If we let the children play a game, the difficulty of this game is beyond the child's existing understanding ability, but we don't explain anything to him. As a result, the child always doesn't know how to play, every time the test fails, then the child feels. It will get worse and worse, and he will feel stupid without anyone else saying it.
If he is in the child's life, he rarely gets a "win" feeling. In the end, he may become a stupid and fearsome child.
2, premature knowledge transfer
Some parents who are keen on the so-called "intellectual development" actively train young children to read and write. Those academic knowledge does not meet the cognitive characteristics of young children. Although children can still memorize by means of parrots, they do not understand, so they often fail to promote their intellectual development. Instead, they bring great learning pressure to children. , reduced interest in learning and dampened confidence.
3, a lot of negative hints
There is a fairy tale full of meaning: there is a beautiful princess who was kept by a witch on a tower from an early age. Only a witch can be seen every day. The witch said to her every day: "You look so ugly, people who see you will be scared." The princess believed in the witch's words, afraid of being laughed at by others and afraid to escape. Until one day, a prince passed under the tower and saw the princess's beauty as a fairy. He was shocked to be a man of heaven and rescued her. The princess realized in the mirror that she was so beautiful.
In fact, many parents may inadvertently act as “witches”.
To say that children are "stupid" is the mantra of some parents, even when they talk about love. However, the child receives the message of “stupidity”; sometimes, the parents of Wang Zicheng’s parents intentionally or unintentionally compare the children with others. “You see how smart Ding Ding is!” “Aunt Li’s daughter can talk to foreigners in English. She is smaller than you."... Sometimes, parents are modest in front of friends and outsiders. "My son can't do it, it's stupid." "This child has no brains."
Being drowned all day in such a large number of negative cues, how can a child not really believe that he is really stupid?
When the child is convinced that his brain is stupid and his learning ability is very bad for all of the above reasons, he will have a serious inferiority complex and self-doubt. The result is really a stupid child who learns to learn nothing. .
Second, if you don't want your child to be stupid
1. Let him experience the joy of success
When a child is successful and experiences happiness, the brain releases "brain morphine," a chemical that drives the child to repeat the experience. Therefore, from this perspective, we can say that "success is the mother of success."
In the activities of playing games, playing with toys, doing manual work, participating in competitions and doing housework, encourage children to try boldly and properly guide them so that children can taste the joy of victory through certain efforts. For example, when a child is eager to help his mother wash the dishes, don't bother, or fear that he will break the bowl and refuse him. May he move a moderately high stool for him, wear an apron and sleeves for him, and tell him how to light it. Take it lightly and rinse it out. When the child washes a bowl, he sings out that he is doing awesome, the child will be very happy, and he is confident in his ability!
For children, all kinds of exploration are opportunities for learning. Then, let us "find a short apple tree for the child, let the child pick up his feet and reach out to pick the apple." Successive and successful experiences will make your child confident and motivated to move toward the next higher goal.
2, interest is always first
Ling Zhijun told a story in the best-selling book "Microsoft Kid". Juliet's son, Warren, is intelligent and only 14 years old. He has completed high school and can go to college. In this case, most Chinese parents will be proud to describe the child's success. Juliet does not want her son to go to college now because he wants him to enjoy his childhood more and let him do what he likes. She and the author have the following questions and answers:
“As a teacher, what do you think is the most important thing for students in grades, interests, happy childhood, and morality?”
"Interest is always the first. Without interest, there is nothing. With interest, great achievements will follow."
"So, as a mother, what do you think is most important to your child?"
"Interest, still interest. I hope he has a very happy childhood. However, interest is still the first. Interested to be happy."
The mother’s beliefs are similar to those of a former Soviet educator. Once, the educator taught the children in the preschool class. He prepared a "speaking ball" and thrown it out from the podium while saying "2+3=", which child received the ball, and which child said the answer, the children learned very happy. If the teacher does not understand, I will say that you are not doing this. Is it okay to ask questions directly? What is the "speaking ball"? He replied that there is no "speaking ball", of course, you can ask questions, but the children have no The interest in speaking.
"Interest is the best teacher", this sentence has become a commonplace, but still being ignored by many parents. If you want your child to be smarter and more eager to learn, then put inspiration, care, and interest in learning activities on your daily schedule.
3, tell the child, it does not matter if it fails
Learning and activities always have a victory or defeat, winning or losing. How to give children a rating is an art. Because children do not have the ability to self-evaluate, most of them rely on others' attitudes toward themselves to self-recognize.
When a child is sad for “failure”, parents should not treat the child with pity, or sigh in front of the child, and even scold the child with a slap in the face. The correct way is to let the child understand that failure, error is no big deal, everyone It may happen that brave and intelligent people will learn from their failures and continue to work hard.